The group I’m involved in is called MISS and from them I’ve learned that today is Infant and Child Death Awareness day…
http://www.misschildren.org/ . The idea of not calling it Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness (which is how it’s more widely known) stems from MISS’s concept that for some women, it’s not that they “lost” a pregnancy, it’s that their baby died plain and simple. So this day represents awareness for all stillborn babies, early infant death and miscarriages.
I am wearing my pin today to remember all of our babies that have died. My personal journey through all of this has been extreme grief and sadness over our Daniela who died when I was 16 weeks pregnant. I was early in my other three pregnancy losses that it really didn’t affect me much at all. For our 8 week loss I had 1 day/evening of tears and then a lot of sadness the week after I learned the baby had really died but the other two at 5 weeks and 6 weeks had little to no effect on me. The combined, stacking weight of having 4 miscarriages is 18 months is what I live with every day, along with missing Daniela. It’s not as if I grieve and think about each baby separately. To me, it’s Daniela and infertility (4 losses) if that makes sense.
So today, on this day of awareness, I hope family members and loved ones learn to continue to reach out to those they love and care for (not necessarily on this day, but in general) who have lost of a baby to SIDS, stillbirth and miscarriage. Tell them you are thinking of them and that you recognize that what they have gone through is painful.
Oh and at 7pm I’ll be lighting a candle for our Daniela, our other babies who died, for my counselor’s son Theo who died of a brain tumor at 9 months old, and for my wonderful new friend…for her beautiful daughter Lacey who was born still a year ago today, 10/15. God bless you all and give you peace. Today is hard but tomorrow we keep putting one foot in front of the other…
Unless someone has gone through what you have, it is difficult for them to REALLY understand. You know that you are in my thoughts. Love, dad
Sweetie, I wish I knew. I feel like a terrible friend. We completely understand. We got pregnant (after my tubal), it was unexpected and we were soooooo excited. We didn’t believe it until we saw the ultrasound! Then……..heartbreak. After a while, I convinced myself that I really didn’t WANT to be pregnant. It’s just easier that way. I pray for you every time that I think of you. Lots of love to you and Dave (and the WHOLE family).
Thank you for lighting a candle for sweet Lacey and the other babies who have sone too soon. You are a dear friend!