First Smile

Elena is two and a half weeks old. I was snapping like crazy to get a picture for the baby announcements that my friend Erika is doing.  All of the sudden she smiled. Maybe it was the flash. So cute. It’s blurry because she was moving. To me, she is one of the most stunning babies I have ever laid eyes on. I am biased but I do get oohs and ahhs when I take her out and about. She’s got it.

Control and Bedside Manner

I had light crampy contractions from 1 am Friday morning through around 11 am. I was able to get some sleep through them from about 4 am to noon Friday. I got up and ate lunch and my water must have begun to break around 1 pm (this continued around 7pm Friday). It wasn’t the gush I had heard about but a slow trickle. When the leaking continued I thought I should call the doctor so I checked in with the nurse around 3pm. She said if it continued to call back. By 4pm Dave got home because we knew it was the night but wanted to really think about our options and take our time. Our Doula Kathy said to call her during her Lamaze class if the water continued to leak. I caught up on my work emails, made some phone calls and took my time deciding to call the doctor back as the leaking continued. I was in a bit of denial as it was not how I envisioned my labor to begin. By 6:30pm I spoke with the doctor on call. I immediately did not like this woman. My doctor was on vacation and the back up who was scheduled for my induction wasn’t on call until Saturday morning. She didn’t listen to me. I asked what my options were if my water had broken and she said I had none and would have to be admitted and start on the pitocin right away. I wanted no drugs and to go natural but she said unless my labor started on its own, without pitocin I’d need a C-section within 18- 24 hours for “risk of infection” for the baby and I. I got off the phone and woke Dave up from his nap and told him it was time to head to hospital. We took our time and did not get there until 8:30 pm. I took a long shower and put on some light makeup, brushed my hair and even put on some shimmery body lotion. I knew it would be awhile before I would be back home. I then ate a big meal of eggplant Parmesan, some lucky charms and a slim fast protein shake – I was carbing up for the big event! I did everything natural I could think of to get contractions going. Dave and I were timing them Friday afternoon but they were so light and sporadic.

We got to the hospital and checked in. It was a surreal moment when the doctor (the same one on the phone) checked me and confirmed there was no bag anymore, only baby’s hair when she checked me. I could not believe all my water was gone. She gave me one of those fake concerned smiles saying “yeah, yeah we’ll need to start the drugs ASAP and admit you so we can get labor going. It’s possible to still deliver vaginally but we are on a time crunch since your water broke at 2pm. “

It was so strange having no options. I realized my birth plan would not be realized. Now the clock was ticking against the C-section “deadline” they give you for 2 pm the next day. I was still only 1 and 1/2 CM dilated and the baby was still high up. The nurses were amazing and knew I wanted natural and encouraged me to wait for our Doula who was getting there at 10:30 pm to see if I could go into labor on my own. Nothing happened and when Kathy arrived we relaxed and hung out and decided to begin the pitocin around midnight.

By 1am I was having light contraction, no big deal. I brought some fun movies for labor and we put in Dirty Dancing first. By the end of Dirty Dancing around 2:30am I was in active labor. I luckily had a nice 3 minutes break between contractions during the “I’ve had the time of my life” finale (love that movie). I was able to eat small snacks between contractions up until that point.

The contractions lasted about 1 to 1 and 1/2 minutes and were 2-4 minutes apart. I was able to plow through them with my Lamaze breathing and different focal points. We tried a lot of positions for pain management and comfort. I enjoyed sitting backwards on a chair leaning on some pillows. I also liked resting on the yoga ball which was on the hospital bed. Lying on my side in the hospital bed was the worst. From 2:30am to 6:30am my contractions got stronger and longer. The night flew by. Elena’s heart rate remained steady. Our nurse Jessica was amazing and helped a great deal. Kathy our Doula helped get me through the toughest ones and Dave was awesome. Just before 6am our nurse Jessica asked if I’d like to be checked for progress. I refused because I did not want to get discouraged. I knew I was making good progress because the contractions were so strong and regular and I could feel the pressure of the baby dropping in my pelvis. The worst part of the labor was from 6 am to 7 am. They turned the pitocin up and the contractions started rolling one on top of the other. I panicked because it was so excruciating and I could not get a break between them to mentally prepare and physically relax in the beginning to manage the pain. This was when I asked for the epidural. Dave and I had a code name for the epidural “Yingling.”

I cried and squirmed in pain through this series of 10 -15 contractions that were indescribable. I just could not get control over them. During this time I was checked and was 6 or 7 cm dilated and 90% effaced. Yeah! I changed positions to standing and just leaned on Kathy and Dave during the hour waiting for the epidural. I started to gain a little control over the pain with the standing position. Dave kept helping me use the restroom throughout the labor and around 7:30 am we used the restroom and that was the worst- I had three of the worst contractions ever in the bathroom. I was in full transition and was shivering, sweating, delirious and a bit sick to my stomach. I felt like I had been given some drug in my drink or something I was just so out of it during this tail end of labor as I dialated fully. The natural endorphins that my body created to manage through the pain may have made me loopy who knows. It was a strange feeling.

When we left the bathroom I saw that Martha our anesthesiologist was there! Wow- what a cool moment. I knew the end of the pain was near. My new nurse Tricia helped me through the contractions while I got the epidural and immediately I felt relief from the spinal in the middle on a contraction. Dave and Kathy our Doula came back in the room and I got checked at 8 am and was 9 1/2 cm, almost ready to push! I saw my family at 8:30am and had some time to relax before pushing. At 9:30am I was a full 10, the baby had dropped fully and they called the doctor. The new doctor on call showed up and barely said a word to me and we got started. I am not sure if they coach on bedside manor or smiling for doctors but at an intimate moment like this a simple “How are you Jennifer, are you exited, we’re having a baby…or how are you feeling?” would be nice. I started pushing at 10am and Elena was born at 10:40am. The pushing was great. It was amazing to see her born in the mirror. They put her on my chest right away and we had a full 30 or so minutes to bond and feed her before they weighed her and gave her the eye drops. This time was so cool. I could not believe it! I did it and Elena is beautiful, strong and healthy!

A week old

Elena is feeding so great and has gained 6 ounces already. She is pushing off on her legs, holding her neck up for 5 seconds and is making good eye contact. She is so much fun. Dave and I are trying to adapt to sleeping for 2-3 hours at a time. It’s tough as she’s definitely more fussy at night. Every new parent says this but it is so true; you miss the time with it being just the two of you, and you miss sleeping for 8 hours on the weekends but having her is so worth it. I would have had kids a lot sooner if I had known how natural and amazing being a parent is (plus it is too early to worry about parenting styles etc. – right now its just managing the breastfeeding, poops , crying and gazing into her wonderful face). Life is good. We’ve had a lot of visitors from friends and family who’ve helped out a great deal.

She looks like Dave as a baby!

Elena Ivy Merchan

Lupe has a name. Welcome to the world…..

Elena Ivy Merchan
(eh LEH nah)
Born: Saturday, July 12th, 10:40 am
8 Lbs 2 Ounces

19 and 3/4 inches

Going home from the hospital

I’ll post the birth story shortly. In a nutshell I had a hard but short labor of about 9 hours. I am feeling great and Elena is doing so well. A lot of crazy stuff happened in labor and delivery. Hint: Pitocin is evil. Epidural is my best friend ( I could have named our daughter after our anesthesiologist Martha, I love that woman). More to come.

Oh, the nurses did say that Elena’s umbilical cord was the largest they’d ever seen. It was as thick as a hotdog! Gross but so cool. No wonder I ate those cases of ceareal and fruit and ice cream over the course of the 9 months- that baby was freaking hungry.

Where are you Lupita?

I’m overdue. It’s a terrible wait. It’s exciting but difficult to focus on much else. When sitting is not comfortable and you can’t walk or stand for more than 10 minutes the grouchiness is pretty bad. It’s late and I’ve been up since about 3- can’t seem to sleep. Lying down doesn’t feel great either. The swelling and weight gain has really caught up with me. I just feel so darn huge. This holiday weekend my mom visited and helped around the house which was amazing! Before she arrived I did do a major errand- grocery shopping. Dave was sleeping and I snuck away at 7:30 am Saturday to the nice Kroger on Midlothian. My legs and feet ached by the end but I was so determined to do something active- something normal. I made my list, took a shower and got presentable (very difficult to do because the only clothes that fit me are a few big shirts and 2 dresses that I wear over pants). I drove myself to the store and filled up a whole cart of delicious fruits and yummy foods, checked out and loaded the car. It felt great to just be normal for a morning.

So back to getting Lupe out…Kathy our doula is getting us some German birth tea today. Dave is picking it up form her at St. Mary’s where she works as a pediatric nurse. We’ve tried every natural induction method with the exception of Castor oil. Later in the week we will take a cocktail that includes some herbs and the oil to get things moving. The induction is in a week so we’ll see Lupe soon. I’ve never felt this powerless. It’s a situation that each day and hour requires a lot of mental toughness- something an athlete might endure. In fact- the best analogy for waiting for labor (and pain) I can come up with that a man might feel would be the impending marathon in a few days or departure for war or boot camp. That feeling of dread combined with excitement and the waiting is similar to what I may be feeling now. It’s crazy. You definitely feel alive but it’s a wait I would not wish on anyone.

Mental Toughness is a great skill to have though. This weekend Nadal beat Federer (finally!!) at Wimbledon. His mental toughness was astounding. He stuck with it- each and every point and won after loosing two sets at tie break and won a 5th set at 9 games to 7. Awesome.

Hopefully the next post is a picture of our precious daughter!